Openly his wares derided.
"Who'll buy my love-knots?
Who'll buy my love-knots?"
All at that old cry came flocking,
Mocking in a style quite shocking.

"Here are knots," said HYMEN, taking
Some loose nooses of Law's making.
"Pooh!" the nymphs cried. "Who can trust 'em?
We have changed your queer old custom.
Who'll buy your love-knots?
Who'll buy your love-knots?
Women they bind not, nor tie men.
You're a helpless gaoler, HYMEN!

"When the bargain is completed,
We have but to cry, 'We're cheated!'
And you'll find you're sold most sadly.
Love-knots? Fools'-knots! They tie badly.
Who'll buy _your_ love-knots?
Who'll buy _your_ love-knots?
Burdens you would lay our backs on--
Our reply is--TOLSTOI! JACKSON!"

HYMEN dropped his torch; its splutter
Was extinguished in the gutter.
"At my torch and crown of roses
These young minxes cock their noses.
Who'll buy my love-knots?
Who'll buy my love-knots?"
What's the use? 'Twixt Law and Passion,
HYMEN's plainly out of fashion!

LOVE, who saw the whole proceeding,
Would have laughed but for good breeding.
"Best join _me_," he cried, "Old Chappie!
IBSEN read, be free, and happy!
Who'll buy your love-knots?
Who'll buy your love-knots?
Have a spree--all shackles scorning,
Come! We won't go home till morning!'"

* * * * *

A BACONIAN THEORY;

OR, TRYING IT ON.

SOLOMON isn't in it with Judge BACON. The point was whether Mrs.
MANLEY had made Miss DOROTHY DENE's dresses to fit or not. "To fit or
not to fit, that was the question." The Judge gave his decision after
a fair trial of the two costumes--this might be remembered on both
sides as "the trying-on case,"--that, according to the evidence of
unimpeachable witnesses represented by the Judge's own common-sense
and artistic eye for effect, two of the dresses and a cloak didn't
fit, and that so far, the Defendant, Miss DOROTHY, must consider
herself, in a dress-making sense, "non-suited." Mrs. MANLEY had, of
course, undertaken to provide fits for her customers, and for having
partially failed, her customers determined to return the compliment,
by "giving _her_ fits" if possible. So the parties came before
Judge BACON, and appealed to His Honour. And the learned Judge
mindful of ancestral Baconian wisdom, "_Cast a severe eye upon the
example_"--that is, he examined the dresses most critically