hrough the desolate cayan.

I have seen the half clad Filipino,
In his nipa thatched shack in Luzon,
Dispensing the tuba and bino,
Amidst our gay laughter and song.

At eve the brown-hued senoritas,
Strolled leisurely over the green,
In hobbles and gaudy camisas,
Their more loving than handsome queens,

They may say the East is a'calling,
The picturesque isles of the sea,
But with all their wild splendor enthralling,
They have no fascination for me.

TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO THE CORPORAL OF THE GUARD

If number one you are walking,
And to a comrade talking,
While around the country gawking,
Keeping neither watch nor ward,
And an officer unsaluted,
Swears at you with voice polluted,
Tell your troubles to the Corporal of the Guard.

If you are at the bridge of Spain,
And a foreign lady vain--
While a native with a rein
Jerks the skinny pony hard,
When to her aid you'll turn,
Tell your troubles to the Corporal of the Guard.

If on the Escolta posted,
And the sun your back has roasted,
And rebel chieftain boasted
As he handed you his card--
That he soon would clean you out
And put your Dewey's fleet to rout,
Tell your troubles to the Corporal of the Guard.

If to the canteen you are sent,
And your frame with thirst is rent,
And your spirits drooped and bent,
And the soldiers and the sailors bottle-crazed--
All are drinking fizzes cool,
Do not rave and act the fool,
Tell your troubles to the Corporal of the Guard.

If you should a bottle get,
No matter on which beat,
Or a morsel sweet to eat,
In the dreary times so hard;
You will find a friend to share it--
Call promptly for the Corporal of the Guard.

GENERAL ORDERS OF THE KITCHEN POLICE

My General Orders are:

1. To take charge of these spuds and all gravy in view.

2. Dish slum in a military manner; keeping on the alert
and observing all meat balls that go within sight or hearing.

3. To report any private or non-com who asks for thirds.

4. To receive, transmit and obey all orders from and allow
myself to be relieved by the Mess Sergeant, first and second
cooks only.

5. To quit the coffee only when properly relieved.

6. To repeat all calls for "seconds" from the dining room.

7. To hold conversation with no one who asks for onions.

8. To allow no one to pass the cooks tobacco or booze.

9. To salute all slum