ght have
heard of the friends, Cluppins, Raddle, etc., who seemed to have been
charwomen or something of the sort; also that there was a sort of working
man as a fellow lodger. Above all, that there was no servant in the
house. All which boded ill, and made it likely that Mr. Pickwick would
be the easy victim of some crafty scheme.

All went well until the unluckly morning in July, 1827, when Mr.
Pickwick's friends, coming to pay a morning call, and entering
unexpectedly, surprised Mr. Pickwick with his landlady fainting in his
arms in an hysterical condition. This was a very awkward business. The
delinquent, however, did not at once grasp the situation, and could not
"make head or tail of it, or what the lady meant." His friends, however,
had their doubts:

'What _is_ the matter?' said the three tongue-tied Pickwickians.

'I don't know,' replied Mr. Pickwick, pettishly. 'Now, help me, lead
this woman down stairs.'

'Oh, I am better now,' said Mrs. Bardell, faintly.

'Let me lead you downstairs,' said the ever gallant Mr. Tupman.

'Thank you, sir--thank you?' exclaimed Mrs. Bardell hysterically.
And downstairs she was led accordingly, accompanied by her
affectionate son.

[Picture: The cause of action]

'I cannot conceive--' said Mr. Pickwick, when his friend returned--'I
cannot conceive what has been the matter with that woman. I had
merely announced to her my intention of keeping a man servant, when
she fell into the extraordinary paroxysm in which you found her.
Very extraordinary thing.'

'Very,' said his three friends.

'Placed me in such an extremely awkward situation,' continued Mr.
Pickwick.

'Very,' was the reply of his followers, as they coughed slightly, and
looked dubiously at each other.

This behaviour was not lost upon Mr. Pickwick. He remarked their
incredulity. They evidently suspected him.

It may be reasonably supposed that Mr. Pickwick had not been very
discreet, or sufficiently cautious in his general behaviour to his
landlady. As we know, he was rather too effusive in his relations with
the fair sex. One of his weaknesses was _kissing_. He would kiss
everybody who was young or good-looking. His maxim was "Kiss early and
kiss often." Who can forget his _systematic_ method of greeting the
engaging Arabella? "He (1) took off his spectacles, (2) in great haste,
and (3) t