woman; I had the pleasure of seeing Saint
Lambert and Madam de'Houdetot approach me, and we conversed together a
part of the afternoon, upon things very indifferent it is true, but with
the same familiarity as before my involuntary error. This friendly
attention was not lost upon my heart, and could Saint Lambert have read
what passed there, he certainly would have been satisfied with it. I can
safely assert that although on my arrival the presence of Madam
d'Houdetot gave me the most violent palpitations, on returning from the
house I scarcely thought of her; my mind was entirely taken up with Saint
Lambert.

Notwithstanding the malignant sarcasms of Madam de Blainville, the dinner
was of great service to me, and I congratulated myself upon not having
refused the invitation. I not only discovered that the intrigues of
Grimm and the Holbachiens had not deprived me of my old acquaintance,

[Such is the simplicity of my heart was my opinion when I wrote
these confessions.]

but, what flattered me still more, that Madam d'Houdetot and Saint
Lambert were less changed than I had imagined, and I at length understood
that his keeping her at a distance from me proceeded more from jealousy
than from disesteem. This was a consolation to me, and calmed my mind.
Certain of not being an object of contempt in the eyes of persons whom I
esteemed, I worked upon my own heart with greater courage and success.
If I did not quite extinguish in it a guilty and an unhappy passion, I at
least so well regulated the remains of it that they have never since that
moment led me into the most trifling error. The copies of Madam d'
Houdetot, which she prevailed upon me to take again, and my works, which
I continued to send her as soon as they appeared, produced me from her a
few notes and messages, indifferent but obliging. She did still more, as
will hereafter appear, and the reciprocal conduct of her lover and
myself, after our intercourse had ceased, may serve as an example of the
manner in which persons of honor separate when it is no longer agreeable
to them to associate with each other.

Another advantage this dinner procured me was its being spoken of in
Paris, where it served as a refutation of the rumor spread by my enemies,
that I had quarrelled with every person who partook of it, and especially
with M. d'Epinay. When I left the Hermitage I had written him a very
polite letter of thanks, to which he answered not less p