t clock happened to get a quarter of a second fast,
or the eighth of an instant slow, it would break its heart and die.

It is in this spirit of child-like faith in its integrity that, one
morning, you gather your family around you in the passage, kiss your
children, and afterward wipe your jammy mouth, poke your finger in the
baby's eye, promise not to forget to order the coals, wave at last fond
adieu with the umbrella, and depart for the railway-station.

I never have been quite able to decide, myself, which is the more
irritating to run two miles at the top of your speed, and then to find,
when you reach the station, that you are three-quarters of an hour too
early; or to stroll along leisurely the whole way, and dawdle about
outside the booking-office, talking to some local idiot, and then to
swagger carelessly on to the platform, just in time to see the train go
out!

As for the other class of clocks--the common or always-wrong
clocks--they are harmless enough. You wind them up at the proper
intervals, and once or twice a week you put them right and "regulate"
them, as you call it (and you might just as well try to "regulate" a
London tom-cat). But you do all this, not from any selfish motives,
but from a sense of duty to the clock itself. You want to feel that,
whatever may happen, you have done the right thing by it, and that no
blame can attach to you.

So far as looking to it for any return is concerned, that you never
dream of doing, and consequently you are not disappointed. You ask what
the time is, and the girl replies:

"Well, the clock in the dining-room says a quarter past two."

But you are not deceived by this. You know that, as a matter of fact, it
must be somewhere between nine and ten in the evening; and, remembering
that you noticed, as a curious circumstance, that the clock was only
forty minutes past four, hours ago, you mildly admire its energies and
resources, and wonder how it does it.

I myself possess a clock that for complicated unconventionality and
light-hearted independence, could, I should think, give points
to anything yet discovered in the chronometrical line. As a mere
time-piece, it leaves much to be desired; but, considered as a
self-acting conundrum, it is full of interest and variety.

I heard of a man once who had a clock that he used to say was of no good
to any one except himself, because he was the only man who understood
it. He said it was an excellent clock, and o