aces not only to general unhealthiness, but
also to a dislike of soap and water. They trained like professionals
and made tin gods of their challenge cups. They worked always with a
dull, sickening energy: they never had a decent three-quarter among
them, but won their matches by working the touch-line and scoring from
forward rushes. Yet undoubtedly, despite all their ignorance of the
way things should be done, they achieved results.

Of course Berney's hated Randall's bitterly and for ever. But towards
the end of term relations became more strained than was usual. To
begin with, Randall's had defeated Berney's by thirty-five points to
three in the first round of the footer pot. Once Spots had romped
away, but for the rest of the match the heavy Randallite scrum had kept
the ball close and pushed their light opponents all over the field.
And Randall's juniors had crowed over their triumph, had hailed every
fresh try with much shouting and throwing up of caps (it was generally
held that gentlemen showed their joy by reasonable yelling and that
only a low soccer crowd would hurl their caps into the air), and
behaved as offensively as could be expected. Now Randall's prepared to
win the final as though the future of the world rested on their
efforts, while Berney's jeered from study windows or the house yard.
So Randall's sulked and refused to send back balls which were kicked
over into their yard, and Berney's had to scale walls secretly to
recover their property. Nor did they always succeed. But the actual
cause of open hostilities was the affair of Gideon.

Gideon's real name was Edward Spencer Lewis-Murray. Some reader of Mr
Eden Phillpotts had called him Gideon because he was dark and had a
large nose. Whether or not he was a Jew is immaterial. Certainly he
not only went to school chapel, but consumed ham in large quantities.
One day he had been ragged about his nose and straightway he marched to
the tuck-shop, ordered an unparalleled amount of ham and pork sausages
(for he was wealthy) and devoured the entire feast before a large
assembly. His capacity was enormous, and he thus gained two ends at
once: he demonstrated his loathing of Jewish practices and established
an undoubted record in consumption.

His nose, however, was certainly large, and the name of Gideon clung to
him: but he took his ragging sensibly, and, while remaining a butt, he
became, in a way, popular. So when, a few days before the