reconciled until I had emptied my pouch of the few fish I had put
there for future use. Those that I ate made me very sick. Poisoned by
the mineral in the water, had I glutted my appetite with them as I
intended, I should doubtless have died in the wilderness, in
excruciating torment.

A gradual mental introversion grew upon me as physical weakness
increased. The grand and massive scenery which, on the upward journey,
had aroused every enthusiastic impulse of my nature, was now tame and
spiritless. My thoughts were turned in upon myself--upon the dreadful
fate which apparently lay just before me--and the possible happiness
of the existence beyond. All doubt of immortality fled in the light of
present realities. So vivid were my conceptions of the future that at
times I longed for death, not less as the beginning of happiness than
as a release from misery. Led on by these reflections, I would recall
the varied incidents of my journey--my escape from the lion, from
fire, my return from Madison Range--and in all of them I saw how much
I had been indebted to that mysterious protection which comes only
from the throne of the Eternal. And yet, starving, foot-sore, half
blind, worn to a skeleton, was it surprising that I lacked the faith
needful to buoy me above the dark waters of despair, which I now felt
were closing around me?

In less serious moods, as I struggled along, my thoughts would revert
to the single being on whom my holiest affections centered--my
daughter. What a tie was that to bind me to life! Oh! could I be
restored to her for a single hour, long enough for parting counsel and
blessing, it would be joy unspeakable! Long hours of painful travel
were relieved of physical suffering by this absorbing agony of the
mind which, when from my present standpoint I contrast it with the
personal calamities of my exile, swells into mountains.

To return from this digression. At many of the streams on my route I
spent hours in endeavoring to catch trout, with a hook fashioned from
the rim of my broken spectacles, but in no instance with success. The
tackle was defective. The country was full of game in great variety. I
saw large herds of deer, elk, antelope, occasionally a bear, and many
smaller animals. Numerous flocks of ducks, geese, swans, and pelicans
inhabited the lakes and rivers. But with no means of killing them,
their presence was a perpetual aggravation. At all the camps of our
company I stopped and recalled