here; and such will be that
of posterity, if they shall ever take the trouble to think about any
of us."

This conversation was evidently more than accidental; and I gave to it
some of my most perplexing hours. I had an original fondness for the
life of arms. I was of the age to feel its variety, animation, and
ardour. My experience had been fortunate; I had seen nothing but
victory, and had been flattered by personal distinction. But then came
the reverse of the medal. I remembered the opinion of the most
sagacious and penetrating spirit which it had been my lot ever to
know; and I felt that the Continent was to be our field of battle no
longer. The languor of home service, to one who had seen war in its
stateliest shape, and in its most powerful activity, rose before my
mind with an inexpressible sense of weariness. On the other hand,
supposing that I possessed the faculties for political life, was I
possessed of the temper, the endurance of toil, the measureless
patience, the inexhaustible equanimity, which every night of my public
existence would henceforth demand? Why was this heart-wearying
struggle to be preferred to the simple and straightforward pursuit of
an honourable profession, in which the only weight was the carrying of
my sword, and the only secret of distinction possessing an untarnished
name?

But I soon made up my mind. The question narrowed itself to this:
which was the more active life? The point of honour was no longer the
adherence to a profession whose purposes were necessarily changed.
Every hour gave additional evidence that the gates of the Continent
were closing upon the English soldier. Influence, impression,
publicity, were the prizes of a political career. I saw all other
names fade before the great senatorial names of England. I saw men of
humble extraction filling the world with their fame. I saw a
succession of individuals, who, if their profession had been arms, or
if their birth-place had been the Continent, would have lived and died
in the routine of obscure service, here rising to the height of
national homage, lustres of their generation, and guiding by their
opinions the courts of Europe. Whether I should ever take my place
among those illustrious names, scarcely entered into my thoughts. But
I was determined never to waste my life in conscious indolence.
Scarcely knowing what faculties I might possess, I had fully resolved
on trying their utmost strength; and grown almost indi