ey were not drafted, but _voluntarily_ enlisted.

Neither was what you could call deeply patriotic, you see. Nor were
they the sort to be influenced by such emotional appeals as the
beating of drums, the waving of flags, or the playing of brass bands
marching along Jackson Boulevard.

"We gotta lick them lice!" Mike constantly proclaimed in regard to
Adolf and the Axis, when war discussions came up around the "cigar
store." But aside from those loud and perhaps sincere pronouncements,
Mike's only contribution to the cause of Victory was the purchase of
war bonds which he looked on merely with the cold eye of one seeking a
smart investment. And as for his attitude toward the army, Mike best
expressed himself with a small embryo ulcer which he kept always on
the verge of eruption within twenty-four hours notice to report for a
draft board examination. It was rumored that, through a swift,
sufficient amount of whisky, Mike could make his embryo ulcer dance
angrily for the draft medicos at any time. This none too admirable
accomplishment with an ailment not actually serious had kept Mike
Harrigan in Class 4 F ever since the last draft registration.

As for Mike's partner, Mort Robbins, the patriotic picture was pretty
much the same. Mort was loudly belligerent toward our enemies in all
the "cigar store" discussions, wisely put much of his funds into war
bonds, but kept one of the most extensive libraries of medical
statements from doctors in existence. All these statements concerned
the tragic asthma and hay-fever of one Mort Robbins and went on to
declare that he might possibly stop breathing completely should he be
placed in the army. The fact that Mort had connived to get these
statements and was not really seriously troubled by those two maladies
didn't alter the fact that they had resulted so far in keeping him out
of khaki.

Consequently, since more than one of their customers knew or suspected
their lack of practical patriotism, the appearance of that sign on the
door of what had once been their establishment caused quite a
considerable flurry of comment for a time.

Naturally, no one could understand what had caused it all. For that,
they can't be blamed. I'd never have understood it, if I hadn't
accidentally been the one person in the world, outside of Mort and
Mike, who knew the true story....

* * * * *

On the morning that it all began, I was down in the "cigar store,"
kil