Instantly I became of more value to Nina--she realized that she had lost
me, and that some other woman drew me and not herself--and although Nina
is the best sort in the world and more or less really in love with Jim,
I knew that a new note could grow in our friendship if I wished to
encourage it--Nina's fighting instinct had been aroused to try to get me
back!

"Who with?" she demanded laconically.

"With a dream--."

"Nonsense! you are much too cynical--Is it anyone I know?"

"I should not think so--she has not materialised yet."

"This is frightfully interesting, my dear old boy!"

"So you think I'll have a chance then?"

"Certainly when you are all finished."

"My new eye is to be in before Christmas, and my new leg after the new
year, and my shoulder gets straighter every day!"

Nina laughed--.

"Real love would be--I suppose--if you could make her adore you before
you looked any handsomer!"

And this sentence of Nina's rang in my ears long after she had gone, and
often in the night. I could not sleep, I felt something had happened and
that fate might be going to take Miss Sharp--Alathea--from me--.

* * * * *

And then before morning in fretful dreams I seemed to be obsessed by the
cooing of love words between a woman and a child--.

XI

Monday was a perfectly impossible day--I spent all the morning before I
returned to Versailles in writing to Maurice, telling him he must find
out all about Miss Sharp--Alathea--I felt if I told him her Christian
name it would be a clue--and yet even to assist in that, which was, at
the moment, my heart's desire, I could not overcome my personal dislike
to pronounce it to Maurice!--it seemed as something sacred to me
alone--which makes me reflect upon how egotistical we all are--and how
we would all rather fail in attaining what is our greatest wish than not
to be able to express our own personality--!

Nina had suggested before she left that I should stay in Paris and come
to the theatre with her--.

"We could have some delicious old times, Nicholas, now that you are so
much better."

Once this would have thrilled me--only last Spring! but now the
contrariness in me made me say that it was absolutely necessary that I
returned immediately to Versailles. I believe I should have answered
like that even if there had been no Miss Sharp,--Alathea--in the case,
just because I now knew Nina really wanted me to stay--every ma