;
but if you don't detain me too long, I will be glad to serve you
to the best of my ability," said Bush. "We want you to tell us
what kind of a fish this is." "Well, gentlemen, that can be done
easily." "Out with it," said the old gent. Bush braced himself
up, and said: "I have been market-master here for twenty years,
and that is the largest _pike_ I ever saw in this market." "Well!
Well! Well!" says the old man; "I have lived on the Tombigbee
River for forty-five years, and I never saw two bigger fools than
you two." I invited the old man and the "market-master" to join
me in a cup of coffee. Bush accepted, but the old one from the
Tombigbee declined, saying "he did not drink with men that did not
know a catfish from a pike." We bid him good morning and went
home, and we were both sound asleep in a short time; for we felt
we had did an honest night's and morning's work.

THE SERMON ON THE (MOUNT) BOAT.

"The hypocrite had left his mass, and stood
In naked ugliness. He was a man
Who stole the livery of the court of heaven
To serve the devil in."

I was coming from New Orleans on board the steamer _E. H. Fairchilds_,
bound for Louisville. She was literally packed with people. After
supper, on Saturday evening, we started a game in the barber shop,
which was kept up until Sunday morning. Over $8,000 changed hands,
and I was a big winner. After eating my breakfast I went out on
the guards to take a smoke before going to bed. While I was enjoying
my cigar, a fine looking old gentleman about sixty years of age
came up to me and entered into conversation. Presently the Captain
joined us. The old gentleman said he was a minister from Louisville,
and would like to preach in the cabin. The Captain gave his consent.
The minister placed his arm in mine, and, before I was aware of
what we were doing, he had me half way down the ladies' cabin, and
then it was too late to back out or get away. He sat me down near
where he was standing. I was impressed with his discourse, for it
was full of practical sayings. He spoke of gambling in very plain
terms, and of the game that had been kept up all night in the barber
shop. He said: "It was a pity that such a fine looking gentleman
as the one who sat near him should play cards for money." To tell
the truth, his remarks on the subject of my business did make me
feel a little mean. He did not look directly at me, but I thought
he was getting close