It is," said Lord Cornwallis, as he took a
large drink from a jug which he had tied to his saddle, "because he is
trying to see if he cannot hear his bed-ticking." On the following day
he surrendered his army, and went home to spring his _bon-mot_ on George
III.

Yet the laws were very stringent in other respects besides apparel. A
man was publicly whipped for killing a fowl on the Sabbath in New
England. In order to keep a tavern and sell rum, one had to be of good
moral character and possess property, which was a good thing. The names
of drunkards were posted up in the alehouses, and the keepers forbidden
to sell them liquor. No person under twenty years of age could use
tobacco in Connecticut without a physician's order, and no one was
allowed to use it more than once a day, and then not within ten miles of
any house. It was a common thing to see large picnic-parties going out
into the backwoods of Connecticut to smoke.

(Will the reader excuse me a moment while I light up a peculiarly black
and redolent pipe?)

[Illustration: LORD CORNWALLIS'S CONUNDRUM.]

Only the gentry were called Mr. and Mrs. This included the preacher and
his wife. A friend of mine who is one of the gentry of this century got
on the trail of his ancestry last spring, and traced them back to where
they were not allowed to be called Mr. and Mrs., and, fearing he would
fetch up in Scotland Yard if he kept on, he slowly unrolled the bottoms
of his trousers, got a job on the railroad, and since then his friends
are gradually returning to him. He is well pleased now, and looks
humbly gratified even if you call him a gent.

The Scriptures were literally interpreted, and the Old Testament was
read every morning, even if the ladies fainted.

The custom yet noticed sometimes in country churches and festive
gatherings of placing the males and females on opposite sides of the
room was originated not so much as a punishment to both, as to give the
men an opportunity to act together when the red brother felt ill at
ease.

I am glad the red brother does not molest us nowadays, and make us sit
apart that way. Keep away, red brother; remain on your reservation,
please, so that the pale-face may sit by the loved one and hold her
little soft hand during the sermon.

Church services meant business in those days. People brought their
dinners and had a general penitential gorge. Instrumental music was
proscribed, as per Amos fifth chapter and twenty-third