ad likewise received a new
direction. Books and inanimate nature were cold and lifeless
instructors. Men, and the works of men, were the objects of rational
study, and our own eyes only could communicate just conceptions of human
performances. The influence of manners, professions, and social
institutions, could be thoroughly known only by direct inspection.

Competence, fixed property and a settled abode, rural occupations and
conjugal pleasures, were justly to be prized; but their value could be
known and their benefits fully enjoyed only by those who have tried all
scenes; who have mixed with all classes and ranks; who have partaken of
all conditions; and who have visited different hemispheres and climates
and nations. The next five or eight years of my life should be devoted
to activity and change; it should be a period of hardship, danger, and
privation; it should be my apprenticeship to fortitude and wisdom, and
be employed to fit me for the tranquil pleasures and steadfast exertions
of the remainder of my life.

In consequence of these reflections, I determined to suppress that
tenderness which the company of Miss Hadwin produced, to remove any
mistakes into which she had fallen, and to put it out of my power to
claim for her more than the dues of friendship. All ambiguities, in a
case like this, and all delays, were hurtful. She was not exempt from
passion, but this passion, I thought, was young, and easily
extinguished.

In a short time her health was restored, and her grief melted down into
a tender melancholy. I chose a suitable moment, when not embarrassed by
the presence of others, to reveal my thoughts. My disclosure was
ingenuous and perfect. I laid before her the whole train of my thoughts,
nearly in the order, though in different and more copious terms than
those, in which I have just explained them to you. I concealed nothing.
The impression which her artless loveliness had made upon me at
Malverton; my motives for estranging myself from her society; the nature
of my present feelings with regard to her, and my belief of the state of
her heart; the reasonings into which I had entered; the advantages of
wedlock and its inconveniences; and, finally, the resolution I had
formed of seeking the city, and, perhaps, of crossing the ocean, were
minutely detailed.

She interrupted me not, but changing looks, blushes, flutterings, and
sighs, showed her to be deeply and variously affected by my discourse. I
p