but my fears contended against my necessities,
and forbade me to attempt to exchange them. The interview with Lodi
saved me from the dangerous experiment. I enclosed them in that volume,
as the means of future opulence, to be used when all other and less
hazardous resources should fail.
"In the agonies of my remorse at the death of Watson, they were
forgotten. They afterwards recurred to recollection. My wishes pointed
to the grave; but the stroke that should deliver me from life was
suspended only till I could hasten hither, get possession of these
papers, and destroy them.
"When I thought upon the chances that should give them an owner; bring
them into circulation; load the innocent with suspicion; and lead them
to trial, and, perhaps, to death, my sensations were fraught with agony;
earnestly as I panted for death, it was necessarily deferred till I had
gained possession of and destroyed these papers.
"What now remains? You have found them. Happily they have not been used.
Give them, therefore, to me, that I may crush at once the brood of
mischiefs which they could not but generate."
This disclosure was strange. It was accompanied with every token of
sincerity. How had I tottered on the brink of destruction! If I had made
use of this money, in what a labyrinth of misery might I not have been
involved! My innocence could never have been proved. An alliance with
Welbeck could not have failed to be inferred. My career would have found
an ignominious close; or, if my punishment had been transmuted into
slavery and toil, would the testimony of my conscience have supported
me?
I shuddered at the view of those disasters from which I was rescued by
the miraculous chance which led me to this house. Welbeck's request was
salutary to me and honourable to himself. I could not hesitate a moment
in compliance. The notes were enclosed in paper, and deposited in a fold
of my clothes. I put my hand upon them.
My motion and attention were arrested, at the instant, by a noise which
arose in the street. Footsteps were heard upon the pavement before the
door, and voices, as if busy in discourse. This incident was adapted to
infuse the deepest alarm into myself and my companion. The motives of
our trepidation were, indeed, different, and were infinitely more
powerful in my case than in his. It portended to me nothing less than
the loss of my asylum, and condemnation to an hospital.
Welbeck hurried to the door, to listen to
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