a secret slander, ripening at length
into open warfare, had been traced to his friendly influence, either _ab
ovo_, or at least from the perilous period in such cases when the very
existence of the embryo relies upon the friendly breath, the sustaining
warmth, and the occasional stimulant. Lawyer Pippin, among his
neighbors, was just the man for such achievements, and they gave him,
with a degree of shrewdness common to them as a people, less qualified
credit for the capacity which he at all times exhibited in bringing a
case into, than in carrying it out of court. But this opinion in nowise
affected the lawyer's own estimate of his pretensions. Next to being
excessively mean, he was excessively vain, and so highly did he regard
his own opinions, that he was never content until he heard himself
busily employed in their utterance. An opportunity for a speech, such as
the present, was not suffered to pass without due regard; but as we
propose that he shall exhibit himself in the most happy manner at a
later period in our narrative, we shall abridge, in few, the long string
of queerly-associated words in the form of a speech, which, on assuming
the chair thus assigned him, he poured forth upon the assembly. After a
long prefatory, apologetic, and deprecatory exordium, in which his own
demerits, as is usual with small speakers, were strenuously urged; and
after he had exhausted most of the commonplaces about the purity of the
ermine upon the robes of justice, and the golden scales, and the
unshrinking balance, and the unsparing and certain sword, he went on
thus:--

"And now, my friends, if I rightly understand the responsibility and
obligations of the station thus kindly conferred upon me, I am required
to arraign the pedler, Jared Bunce, before you, on behalf of the
country, which country, as the clerk reads it, you undoubtedly are; and
here let me remark, my friends, the excellent and nice distinction which
this phrase makes between the man and the soil, between the noble
intellect and the high soul, and the mere dirt and dust upon which we
daily tread. This very phrase, my friends, is a fine embodiment of that
democratic principle upon which the glorious constitution is erected.
But, as I was saying, my friends, I am required to arraign before you
this same pedler, Jared Bunce, on sundry charges of misdemeanor, and
swindling, and fraud--in short, as I understand it, for endeavoring,
without having the fear of God and g