been simplifyin' down. 'T is a turrible job they be, thim three hunderd!
Some av thim I never will be after learnin'. Look at this, now," he
said, putting his finger on "orthopedic." "And this wan," he said,
touching "esophagus." "Thim be tough wans! But it's thankful I am there
be but three hunderd av thim. There w'u'd be no ind t' th' day's worrk
sh'u'd th' prisidint take a notion t' reforrm th' whole dic-shunnery. If
he was t' shorten all th' worrds in th' English language, I w'u'd have a
long job av it, niver knowin' whin th' worrds was spelled right or
wrong. They be a powerful increase of worrk, thim three hunderd worrds.
Take this wan, now--'thoroly'--'t is a bird, that wan is! But Flannery
will stick t' th' list!"

The messenger laid the paper he had been holding upon Flannery's desk.

"I will be needin' an assistant sh'u'd th' prisidint promulgate any more
worrds like thim," said Flannery; "and I w'u'd recommind he be Corbett
or Sullivan or wan of th' other sluggers, for th' patrons av th' company
be not all easy-goin' like Mr. Warold. But progress is th' worrd of th'
day, and I stand for shorter worrds, no matter how much extry worrk they
mek. Th' prisidint has a great head on him."

He opened the paper on his desk and read it.

"General Order Number Seven Hundred and Twenty:

"To all employees of the Interurban Express Company: Cancel General
Order Number Seven Hundred and Nineteen. By order of the president."

"As I was sayin'," said Flannery, "th' prisidint has a great head on
him."

III

FLEAS WILL BE FLEAS

Mike Flannery was the star boarder at Mrs. Muldoon's, and he deserved to
be so considered, for he had boarded with Mrs. Muldoon for years, and
was the agent of the Interurban Express Company at Westcote, while Mrs.
Muldoon's other boarders were largely transient.

"Mike," said Mrs. Muldoon, one noon, when Mike came for his lunch, "I
know th' opinion ye have of Dagos, and niver a-one have I took into me
house, and I think the same of thim meself--dirthy things, an' takin'
the bread away from th' honest Amercan laborin' man--and I would not be
thinkin' of takin' one t' board at this day, but would ye tell me
this:--is a Frinchmin a Dago?"

Flannery raised his knife and laid down the law with it.

"Mrs. Muldoon, mam," he said, "there be two kinds of Frinchmin. There be
the respictible Frinchmin, and there be th' unrespictible Frinchmin.
They both be furriners, but they be classed dif