rstands the
complaint, nor can detect the cause that makes the ghost of a man who was
perfectly rational in life behave like an uneducated buffoon afterwards.
The real reason, as I have tried to explain to you, is a solution of
continuity between subjective thought and will on the side of the
spectre, and objective expression of them--confound it--"

Here he vanished, and the sound of heavy feet was heard promenading the
room, and balls of incandescent light floated about irresolutely,
accompanied by the appearance of a bearded man in armour. The door
(which I had locked and bolted before going to bed) kept opening and
shutting rapidly, so as to cause a draught, and my dog fled under the bed
with a long low howl.

"I do hope," remarked the spectre, presently reappearing, "that these
interruptions (only fresh illustrations of our malady) have not
frightened your dog into a fit. I have known very valuable and attached
dogs expire of mere unreasoning terror on similar unfortunate occasions."

"I'm sure I don't wonder at it," I replied; "but I believe Bingo is still
alive; in fact, I hear him scratching himself."

"Would you like to examine him?" asked the spectre.

"Oh, thanks, I am sure he is all right," I answered (for nothing in the
world would have induced me to get out of bed while he was in the room).
"Do you object to a cigarette?"

"Not at all, not at all; but Lady Perilous, I assure you, is a very old
fashioned chatelaine. However, if _you_ choose to risk it--"

I found my cigarette-case in my hand, opened it, and selected one of its
contents, which I placed between my lips. As I was looking round for a
match-box, the spectre courteously put his forefinger to the end of the
cigarette, which lighted at once.

"Perhaps you wonder," he remarked, "why I remain at Castle Perilous, the
very one of all my places which I never could bear while I was alive--as
you call it?"

"I had a delicacy about asking," I answered.

"Well," he continued, "I am the family genius."

"I might have guessed _that_," I said.

He bowed and went on. "It is hereditary in our house, and I hold the
position of genius till I am relieved. For example, when the family want
to dig up the buried treasure under the old bridge, I thunder and lighten
and cause such a storm that they desist."

"Why on earth do you do _that_?" I asked. "It seems hardly worth while
to have a genius at all."

"In the interests of the family morality.