ce
Dum deflnat Amnis
Self-Glorifiers
Thought on Fortune
Wit, and Truth
Auto-theology
Glorious Constitution
Answer to the Popular Cant that Goodness in a Statesman is
better than Ability
Common-sense
Love, and Writers on Love
The Great Entailed
The Regeneration of a Knave
Style

MAXIMS

ON

THE POPULAR ART OF CHEATING,

ILLUSTRATED BY TEN CHARACTERS;

BEING AN INTRODUCTION TO THAT NOBLE SCIENCE BY WHICH EVERY MAN MAY
BECOME HIS OWN ROGUE.

Set a thief to catch a thief.---Proverb.

I.

Whenever you are about to utter something astonishingly false, always
begin with, "It is an acknowledged fact," etc. Sir Robert Filmer was
a master of this method of writing. Thus, with what a solemn face that
great man attempted to cheat! "It is a truth undeniable that there
cannot be any multitude of men whatsoever, either great or small, etc.,
but that in the same multitude there is one man amongst them that in
nature hath a right to be King of all the rest,--as being the next heir
to Adam!"

II.

When you want something from the public, throw the blame of the asking
on the most sacred principle you can find. A common beggar can read you
exquisite lessons on this the most important maxim in the art of popular
cheating. "For the love of God, sir, a penny!"

III.

Whenever on any matter, moral, sentimental, or political, you find
yourself utterly ignorant, talk immediately of "The Laws of Nature."
As those laws are written nowhere,--[Locke]--they are known by nobody.
Should any ask you how you happen to know such or such a doctrine as the
dictate of Nature, clap your hand to your heart and say, "Here!"

IV.

Yield to a man's tastes, and he will yield to your interest.

V.

When you talk to the half-wise, twaddle; when you talk to the ignorant,
brag; when you talk to the sagacious, look very humble, and ask their
opinion.

VI.

Always bear in mind, my beloved pupils, that the means of livelihood
depend not on the vir