rant, unhappy citizens, I was going to fool God! That we weren't
educating them out of their class in the least. We were educating them
INTO their natural class much more effectually than is done in the
average family. We weren't trying to force them into college if they
hadn't any brains, as happens with rich men's sons; and we weren't
putting them to work at fourteen if they were naturally ambitious,
as happens with poor men's sons. We were watching them closely and
individually and discovering their level. If our children showed an
aptitude to become farm laborers and nurse-maids, we were going to teach
them to be the best possible farm laborers and nurse-maids; and if they
showed a tendency to become lawyers, we would turn them into honest,
intelligent, open-minded lawyers. (He's a lawyer himself, but certainly
not an open-minded one.)

He grunted when I had finished my remarks, and stirred his tea
vigorously. Whereupon I suggested that perhaps he needed another lump of
sugar, and dropped it in, and left him to absorb it.

The only way to deal with trustees is with a firm and steady hand. You
have to keep them in their places.

Oh, my dear! that smudge in the corner was caused by Singapore's black
tongue. He is trying to send you an affectionate kiss. Poor Sing thinks
he's a lap dog--isn't it a tragedy when people mistake their vocations?
I myself am not always certain that I was born an orphan asylum
superintendent.

Yours, til deth,

S. McB.

SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE,

JOHN GRIER HOME,

April 4.

THE PENDLETON FAMILY,

Palm Beach, Florida.

Dear Sir and Madam:

I have weathered my first visitors' day, and made the trustees a
beautiful speech. Everybody said it was a beautiful speech--even my
enemies.

Mr. Gordon Hallock's recent visit was exceptionally opportune; I gleaned
from him many suggestions as to how to carry an audience.

"Be funny."--I told about Sadie Kate and a few other cherubs that you
don't know.

"Keep it concrete and fitted to the intelligence of your audience."--I
watched the Hon. Cy, and never said a thing that he couldn't understand.

"Flatter your hearers."--I hinted delicately that all of these new
reforms were due to the wisdom and initiative of our peerless trustees.

"Give it a high moral tone, with a dash of pathos."--I dwelt upon the
parentless condition of these little wards of Society. And it was very
affecting--my enemy wiped away a tear!

Then I fed them up