ting my own close relative. But
you don't know Uncle Peter.

He is a strange mixture of the doer and the dreamer--the genius and the
child. Parts of his brain never passed third grade while other parts
could sit down and tie Einstein in knots during a discussion of nuclear
physics, advanced mathematics or what have you. He lives in a small
bungalow at the edge of town, in the basement of which is his
laboratory. A steel door bars the public from this laboratory and it was
upon this door that Joy and I pounded futilely for three days. Finally
the door opened and Uncle Peter greeted us.

"Homer--my dear boy! Have you been knocking long?"

"Quite a while, Uncle Peter--off and on that is. I have some news for
you. I am going to get married."

My uncle became visibly disturbed. "My boy! That's wonderful--truly
wonderful. But I'm certainly surprised at you. Tsk-tsk-tsk!"

"What do you mean by tsk-tsk-tsk?"

"Your moral training has been badly neglected. You plan marriage even
while traveling about in the company of this woman you have with you."

Joy is a lady of the finest breeding, but she can be caught off-guard at
times. This was one of the times. She said, "Listen here, you
bald-headed jerk. Nobody calls me a woman--"

Uncle Peter was mildly interested. "Then if you aren't a woman, what--?"

I hastened to intervene. "You didn't let Joy finish, Uncle Peter. She no
doubt would have added--'in that tone of voice.' And I think her
attitude is entirely justified. Joy is a fine girl and my intended
bride."

"Oh, why didn't you say so?"

"I supposed you would assume as much."

"My boy, I am a scientist. A scientist assumes nothing. But I wish to
apologize to the young lady and I hope you two will be very happy."

"That's better," Joy said, with only a shade of truculence.

"And now," Uncle Peter went on. "It would be very thoughtful of you to
leave. I am working on a serum which will have a great deal to do with
changing the course of civilization. In fact it is already perfected and
must be tested. It is a matter of utmost urgency to me that I be left
alone to arrange the tests."

"I am afraid," I said, "that you will have to delay your work a few
hours. It is not every day that your nephew gets married and in all
decency you must attend the wedding and the reception. I don't wish you
to be inconvenienced too greatly, but--"

Uncle Peter's mind had gone off on another track. He stopped me with a
wave of his