clock: 2:10 a.m.; the residual currents obviously had
weakened too much.

And now as I have written down tonight's events I feel an upsurge of
elation and deep, humble gratitude. I am receiving infinitely more from
The Brain than I am giving to it. I feel proud and honored of being The
Brain's "chosen tool," its mentor, even if it can be only in a very
small way at best. This marvelous, this titanic intellect; if only its
character would develop to corresponding moral stature, its powers for
good would be indeed as a god's on this tortured earth.

* * * * *

Cephalon Ariz. Nov. 18th 5 a.m. I guess I had this coming to me ... this
shattering blow I have just received. It caught me off guard.... If
anybody ever reads this, he might well shake his head to ask: "The Fool
that you are, why were you so naive? Why did it shock you so much when
The Brain turned toward you the night side of its personality? Hadn't
you analyzed its character, hadn't you anticipated that it would develop
into a warped personality? You had no right even to be surprised."

All I could say to this is: "You're right. But you forget that I
approached The Brain full of good will, that sympathy and understanding
on my part were absolutely essential in my communication with that
pathetic superhuman child. I didn't work this up, this attitude, it was
natural, genuine and sincere. That's why this reverse has hit me so
hard. And that isn't the worst of it by far. What haunts me is the
ghastly possibility that The Brain might be _right_! Yes 100% right and
even morally justified in the abhorrent conclusions which it draws...."

What happened has been briefly this:

Entered the P.G. at midnight as usual. Everything normal and under
control. Was able to plug in at 12:10 a.m. just as the rush hour began
and Gus darted to the front room. The Brain came through with splendid
clarity of communication and we continued just about where we had left
off. Nevertheless there was a definite change in our respective
positions, a change which I suspect to be permanent:

Up to now The Brain has been in a sense my pupil; it had turned to me
for guidance at that vital moment of its first awakening to
consciousness. At that time I think I really had something to give and I
am still convinced that for all the misunderstandings we have had, The
Brain preserves a kind of sentimental attachment to me; if "sentimental"
in this context were not s