"

"The fool's mad!"

"Is he? Wait a minute. If your shocking eddication permits, I'll trouble
you to read that there."

Mr Abraham Moses drew from his pocket a despatch, ornamented with a huge
seal, and some official red tape. The elder gentleman took it into his
hand, and gazed at his worthy son with unutterable surprise, as he read
on the outside--"_Private and confidential, House of Lords, to Abraham
Moses, Esq., &c. &c. &c._"

"Vy, vot does it all mean, my dear?" enquired the agitated parent.

"Spare your '_my dears_,' venerable apostate, and open it," said Aby.
"The seal's broke. It's private and confidential, but that means when
you are not one of the family."

Mr Methusaleh Moses did as he was bid, and read as follows:--

"SIR,--The Usher of the Blue Rod vacates his office on Wednesday
next, when you will be required to appear before the woolsack to
take the usual oaths. As soon as you have entered upon your duties,
the customary presentation to her Majesty will take place. Lord
Downy will be prepared to conclude the preliminaries at his hotel
at twelve o'clock to-morrow.--I am, sir, with respect, your
obedient humble servant,
"WARREN DE FITZALBERT.
"Abraham Moses, Esq.,
&c. &c. &c."

As little Mr Moses read the last words with a tremulous utterance, tall
Mr Moses rose to take his departure. "Vot's your hurry, Aby?" said the
former, coaxingly.

"Come, I like that. What's my hurry? Didn't you want to kick me out just
now?"

"My dear, give every dog his due. Stick to the truth, my boy, votever
you does. I axed you to stay over the Sabbath--I vish I may die if I
didn't."

Mr Abraham Moses directed towards his sire one of those decided and
deadly glances which are in so much request at the theatres, and which
undertake to express all the moral sentiments at one and the same
moment. Having paid this tribute to his wounded nature, he advanced to
the door, and said, determinedly--

"I shall go!"

"I'm blessed if you do, Aby!" exclaimed the father, with greater
resolution, and seizing his offspring by the skirts of his coat. "I'm
your father, and I knows my sitivation. You're sich a fellow! You can't
take a vurd in fun. Do you think I meant to turn you out ven I said it?
Can you stop nater, Aby? Isn't nater at vork vithin, and doesn't it tell
me if I knocks you on the nose, I hits myself in the eye? Com