as written:

O, come, thou goddess fair and free,
In heaven she crept and froze her knee.

The reporter was following sound. Here is another illustration:

Those lovely eyes bedimmed,
Those lovely eyes be dammed.

A Congressman advocated grants of public land to "actual
settlers." It got in the paper as "cattle stealers." A reporter tried
to write that "the jury disagreed and were discharged," but the
compositor set it up "the jury disappeared and were disgraced."
The last words in a poorly written sentence, "Alone and
isolated, man would become impotent and perish," were set up
as "impatient and peevish."

A MYSTERIOUS TELEGRAM.

A certain church society in Vermont resolved on a Christmas
festival, and determined to have a scripture motto, handsomely
illuminated, in a space back of the pulpit. One of the deacons,
who had business in Boston, took with him the proposed motto
and the measure of the space to be occupied by it, but unfortunately
lost the memorandum. He therefore sent this telegram to his wife
in Vermont. "Send motto and space." She promptly complied,
but the Boston telegraph girl fell off her chair in a faint
when she read off the message, "Unto us a child is born four
feet wide and eight feet long." The deacon, however, thought
it nothing uncommon.

* * *

Mistress: Did the fisherman who stopped here this morning
have frog legs?

Nora: Sure, mum, I dinnaw. He wore pants.--_Cornell Widow_.

* * *

"Goodness," exclaimed the nervous visitor "what vulgar little
hoodlums those noisy boy are out there in the street!"

"I can't see them," said the hostess, "I'm rather near-sighted, you
know."

"But surely you can hear how they're shouting and carrying on."

"Yes, but I can't tell whether they're my children or the
neighbors."--_Philadelphia Press_.

FORTUNE.

A divinity of fools, a helper to the wise.

DEAD EASY.

Funnicus--It's a queer thing, but all the men employed at the
cemetery are historical characters.

Dullwum--How do you make that out?

Fennicus--They're mound builders, aren't they?

A BAD SPELL OF WEATHER.

Dear Paw--I am having a luvly time, so do not expeck me home
ontill next week. All are well and send luv. The wethur is brite
and fare. Yure sun, WILL.

FOR AN EVENING GAME.

At a club social the hostess proposed a game of "sobriquets,"
offering a prize for the one who would identify the largest
number of the ass