t now; but
for nearly a year he enjoyed all the privileges of membership, including
those of paying a large entrance fee and a still larger subscription. At
the end of a year, however, a dreadful thing happened. They made a Third
Rule; to wit, that no member should go to sleep on the billiard table.

"Of course, Sir Arthur having only got in under Rule Two, had to resign.
He had, as I have said, paid his entrance fee, and (as it happened) his
second year's subscription in advance. Naturally he was annoyed....

"And that, in fact, is why he stands on the chimney-piece with his
javelin drawn back. He is waiting for the Secretary. Sir Arthur is
considered to be a good shot, and the Secretary wants all the flowers
to be white."

At this point Margery said her best word, "Gorky," which means, "A
thousand thanks for the verisimilitude of your charming and interesting
story, but is not the love element a trifle weak?" (Margery is a true
woman.)

"We must leave something to the imagination," I pleaded. "The Secretary
no doubt had a delightful niece, and Sir Arthur's hopeless passion for
her, after he had hit her uncle in a vital spot, would be the basis of a
most powerful situation."

Margery said "Gorky" again, which, as I have explained, means, "Are such
distressing situations within the province of the Highest Art?"

When Margery says "Gorky" twice in one night, it is useless to argue. I
gave in at once. "Butter," I said, "placed upon the haft of the javelin,
would make it slip, and put him off his shot. He would miss the
Secretary and marry the niece." So we put a good deal of butter on Sir
Arthur, and for the moment the Secretary is safe. I don't know if we
shall be able to keep it there; but in case jam does as well, Margery
has promised to stroke him every day.

However, I anticipate. As soon as the secretarial life was saved,
Margery said "Agga," which is as it were, "_Encore_," or "_Bis_," so
that I have her permission to tell you that story all over again.
Instead I will give you the tragedy of George, the other fellow (no
knight he), as she told it to me afterwards.

"George was quite a different man from Sir Arthur. So far from being
elected to anything under Rule Two, he got blackballed for the North
London Toilet Club. Opinions differed as to why this happened; some said
that it was his personal unpopularity (he had previously been up,
without success, for the membership of the local Ratepayers Associatio