of conscience, to a singular need to give to others what I
did not obtain, I wanted to trust and I did trust! I gave my confidence
passionately, utterly, rapturously! And this made wells of such deep and
impetuous joy spring up in me that I felt no bitterness when I saw my
confidence marred as it passed through others, even as a clear stream
is muddied in following its course.

Still, I wanted more; I sought to concentrate in one person, herself
generous and confiding, the happiness which I lacked and whose infinite
value I suspected. Ah, what a blessed relief when I found her! I was as
one who has never seen his face save in distorting mirrors and who
suddenly sees himself as he hoped to be. It seems to me that my
happiness dates from that day. Before then, I suffered, I was all
astray, an ill wind hovered round me; and, on the sands of other lives,
there was never a trace of my footsteps where I believed that I had
passed. Henceforth, another soul would read mine! Another's eyes would
own the candour of my eyes!

It was little more than a child that introduced me to love and kindness.
She was treated with iron severity, she was unhappy; I was alone: she
became my daily companion. Alas! too early ripe, too intelligent, she
was of those who cannot stay. Is it a presentiment that makes them hurry
so, or is it rather their eagerness to live, their over-sharpened senses
that wear out their strength?

4

She was not fifteen; but, already matured in body and mind, she
attracted immediate attention. Her walk was so superb that I cannot
think of her without seeing her come swiftly to me, with that dear smile
of hers and with her lovely arms outstretched in greeting. Her limpid
eyes obeyed the light, the light of her heart and the light of the sky,
whereas her dark hair, always tangled and rebellious, bore witness to
the protest of her dauntless spirit. In her company I tasted for the
first time the delight of souls that join and blend and unite in mutual
trust. In an ecstasy of sincerity, for hours I imagined myself baptising
her whole life with my faith. I said to her, over and over again:

"I believe in you.... I believe in you.... Do you understand what that
means? It is something greater and better than 'I love you:' it means
that one can never be alone again!"

She died a few months later; and for years I was to seek in vain in
others' hearts and eyes the pure and limpid faith which reflects
everything that bend