olly Teddy Bear!

They say I'm an impatient man,
And yet I never shoot
When, after breakfasting, I find
Damp toffy in my boot!

And when my wife and my two sons
Are dutifully kissed,
I don't go crook if I'm called back
When Sufi has been missed!

I'm always on the scowl and quick
To censure or condemn;
But, somehow things seem different
With little boys like them.

WEEP SONG

Strike, strike, strike again,
Bump them on the head;
Every minute somebody,
Falls down dead.

Algernons and Berts
Washing out their shirts,
Babies in the bed
Crying for some bread.
Gentlemen with brains,
Looking for their trains.

Strike, strike, strike again,
Always on the head;
Every minute somebody
Drops down dead.

MASTER IN EQUITY

Did I hear the two boys say,
"Two boys have been good to-day?"
Santa's schooner's lost a sail,
Someone tored it with a nail,
What's that mark on Sufi's tail?
I dunno, da you?
Did boys eat they trifle slow
When they mother told them to?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?

Who's been cutting Sufi's hair?
There's a broken dish I see;
Padie, don't be hiding there,
Bring my slippers out to me.
Both boys have been good they say,
Only cried an ittoo bit;
Anyone been fighting Bay,
Two new scars since yesterday?
That was just a weeny hit,
'Cos he'd always want to sit
On the picture of the train
Just when I was reading it.
Two boys have been good again.
Two boys didn't do some more
What they were said not to do,
Two boys have been good it's true!
On the lawn's a splendid show,
Twenteen firewoods in a row!
Where does this hand-mirror go?
I dunno, I dunno!
Wheelmarks on the front-room floor,
Sunday cake forks spread out too!
Mudprints on the kitchen door--

Wonder how they got there for?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?

Did I hear the two boys say,
"Two boys have been good to-day?"
Why is mother worried so?
All these good things can't be true.
Have the boys been good who show
Scratches red and bruises blue?
I dunno, I dunno,
I dunno, da you?

EVENTIDE

Come and have your bath, boys,
Two boys together,
Rolling on the l