n in an honourable way of doing for all the days of his
natural life, is any joking business. Ye dinna ken what ye're saying,
woman. Barbers! i'fegs, to turn up your nose at barbers! did ever living
hear such nonsense! But to be sure, one can blame nobody if they speak
to the best of their experience. I've heard tell of barbers, woman,
about London, that rode up this street, and down that other street, in
coaches and four, jumping out to every one that hallooed to them,
sharping razors both on stone and strap, at the ransom of a penny the
pair; and shaving off men's beards, whiskers and all, stoop and roop, for
a three-ha'pence. Speak of barbers! it's all ye ken about it. Commend
me to a safe employment, and a profitable. They may give others a nick,
and draw blood, but catch them hurting themselves. They are not exposed
to colds and rheumatics, from east winds and rainy weather; for they sit,
in white aprons, plaiting hair into wigs for auld folks that have bell-
pows, or making false curls for ladies that would fain like to look smart
in the course of nature. And then they go from house to house, like
gentlemen in the morning; cracking with Maister this or Madam that, as
they soap their chins with scented-soap, or put their hair up in marching
order either for kirk or playhouse. Then at their leisure, when they're
not thraug at home, they can pare corns to the gentry, or give
ploughmen's heads the bicker-cut for a penny, and the hair into the
bargain for stuffing chairs with; and between us, who knows--many
rottener ship has come to land--but that some genty Miss, fond of plays,
poems, and novels, may fancy our Benjie when he is giving her red hair a
twist with the torturing irons, and run away with him, almost whether he
will or not, in a stound of unbearable love!"

Here making an end of my discourse, and halting to draw breath, I looked
Nanse broad in the face, as much as to say, "Contradict me if ye daur,"
and, "What think ye of that now?"--The man is not worth his lugs, that
allows his wife to be maister; and being by all laws, divine and human,
the head of the house, I aye made a rule of keeping my putt good. To be
candid, howsoever, I must take leave to confess, that Nanse, being a
reasonable woman, gave me but few opportunities of exerting my authority
in this way. As in other matters, she soon came, on reflection, to see
the propriety of what I had been saying and setting forth. Besides, she
had s