betraying, in my judgment, some impropriety of conduct, or without
feeling an apprehension that a premature display of anxiety, might be
construed into a vain glorious desire of pushing myself into notice as
a candidate. Now; if I am not grossly deceived in myself, I should
unfeignedly rejoice, in case the electors, by giving their votes in
favour of some other person, would save me from the dreadful dilemma
of being forced to accept or refuse. If that may not be, I am in the
next place, earnestly desirous of searching out the truth, and of
knowing whether there does not exist a probability that the government
would be just as happily and effectually carried into execution
without my aid, as with it. I am _truly_ solicitous to obtain all the
previous information which the circumstances will afford, and to
determine (when the determination can with propriety be no longer
postponed) according to the principles of right reason, and the
dictates of a clear conscience; without too great a reference to the
unforeseen consequences which may affect my person or reputation.
Until that period, I may fairly hold myself open to conviction, though
I allow your sentiments to have weight in them; and I shall not pass
by your arguments without giving them as dispassionate a consideration
as I can possibly bestow upon them.

"In taking a survey of the subject, in whatever point of light I have
been able to place it, I will not suppress the acknowledgment, my dear
sir, that I have always felt a kind of gloom upon my mind, as often as
I have been taught to expect I might, and perhaps must ere long be
called to make a decision. You will, I am well assured, believe the
assertion (though I have little expectation it would gain credit from
those who are less acquainted with me) that if I should receive the
appointment, and should be prevailed upon to accept it; the acceptance
would be attended with more diffidence and reluctance, than ever I
experienced before in my life. It would be, however, with a fixed and
sole determination of lending whatever assistance might be in my power
to promote the public weal, in hopes that at a convenient and an early
period, my services might be dispensed with; and that I might be
permitted once more to retire--to pass an unclouded evening after the
stormy day of life, in the bosom of domestic tranquillity."

This correspondence was thus closed by Colonel Hamilton. "I feel a
conviction that you will finally