m, cried aloud for the paying of the
debt, and the establishing of the reality of equality. She longed
almost passionately to be able to regard herself, to know that the man
had reason to regard her, as his equal. And yet to possess the thing
seemed daily more difficult; more and more plainly did she see that
bribery, persuasion, cajolery were alike useless. The precious bulb
could be got in one way, and one only; it would never fall into her
hands by skilful accident, or nicely stimulated generosity; she must
take it, or she must do without it. She must get it for herself as
deliberately as, in all probability, Rawson-Clew meant to get Herr Van
de Greutz's secret.

She raised her head and looked at the flat, wet landscape with
unseeing eyes that were contemptuous. How different two not dissimilar
acts could be made to look! If she took the daffodil--and she would
have unique opportunity to try during the next two days--Rawson-Clew
would regard her as little better than a common thief; that is, if he
happened to know about it. She winced a little as she thought of the
faint expression of surprise the knowledge would call up in his
impassive face and cold grey eyes. She could well imagine the slight
difference in his manner to her afterwards, scarcely noticeable to the
casual observer, impossible to be overlooked by her. She told herself
she did not care what he thought; but she did. Pride was grasping at a
desired, but impossible, equality with this man, and here, were the
means used only known, was the nearest way to lose it. At times he had
forgotten the gap of age and circumstances between them--really
forgotten it, she knew, not only ignored it in his well-bred way. He
had for a moment really regarded her as an equal; not, perhaps, as he
might the women of his class, rather the men of like experience and
attainments with himself. That was not what she wanted, but she
recognised plainly that in grasping at a shadowy social feminine
equality by paying the debt, she might well lose this small substance
of masculine equality, for there is no gulf so unbridgeable between
man and man as a different standard of honour.

But after all, she asked herself, what did it matter? He need not
know; she would pay, fulfilling her word, and proving her father an
honest man (which he was not); the debtor could not know how it was
done. And if he did, what then? If she told him herself--he would know
no other way--she would do it del