"Good sirs, a moment's patience, and you shall be waited on," cried my
terrified aunt.

"To Jericho with your patience! We wait for nobody. I decide for this
poulet," said one, taking it up hot in his hands, and bawling because
they were burnt; "dress two dozen more--cook all you have in the
poultry-yard, or we will cook you."

"I claim my share of that poulet," says one.

"Why not have one apiece?" said another. "Who would make two bites of a
cherry? He has gnawn off all the best mouthfuls already. Come, be quick,
mistress housewife! Where are the cellar keys?"

"I've mislaid them, good sirs," said the poor terrified woman.

"We'll kick the door open, then. Here's a ham! here are two hams! Ha!
ha! ham is good--we will heat the copper and boil them."

"No, slice them and fry them," says another; "they take too long to
boil. Bread!--where's the bread? Where's the oven? If it were big
enough, goody, we'd put you into it."

"Ha! ha! what have I found here!--a bag of money."

"Divide! divide!" shouted two dozen voices.

"It's mine, I found it!" cried the first. Then they fell to blows,
and some of them fell sprawling to the ground, and were kicked, the bag
was snatched from the finder, and the money scattered on the floor;
then they scrambled for it, as many as could get near it, laughing and
cursing; while others ransacked drawers, cupboards, and shelves, and
others broke open the cellar door, and began to drink.

Terrified beyond expression, I went back to my uncle, and saw, to my
surprise and relief, that he had fallen into a heavy sleep, which was
a restorative he particularly needed. On looking from the window,
I say my aunt, almost incapacitated by her fears, attempting to catch
the poultry, in which the dragoons alternately helped and hindered her,
roaring with laughter when a hen flew shrieking over their heads, and
then abusing my aunt. They were quickly caught and plucked, and set,
some to roast, some to broil, according to their capricious mandates;
and then, when everything was in as fair train for their disorderly
feast as it well could be (two or three additional fires having been
kindled), one of them said, "Let us divert the time with a little good
music;" and began to beat a drum.

"Louder! louder!" cried his comrades. "Let's have a chorus of drums!"
How they came to have so many, I know not, except that they were brought
for the special purpose of tormenting; but they produced six or eight,