had been kind to me at school, when he was captain
of the eleven, and I his fag, I had dared to look for kindness from him
now; because I was ruined, and he rich enough to play cricket all the
summer, and do nothing for the rest of the year, I had fatuously
counted on his mercy, his sympathy, his help! Yes, I had relied on him
in my heart, for all my outward diffidence and humility; and I was
rightly served. There was as little of mercy as of sympathy in that
curling nostril, that rigid jaw, that cold blue eye which never glanced
my way. I caught up my hat. I blundered to my feet. I would have
gone without a word; but Raffles stood between me and the door.

"Where are you going?" said he.

"That's my business," I replied. "I won't trouble YOU any more."

"Then how am I to help you?"

"I didn't ask your help."

"Then why come to me?"

"Why, indeed!" I echoed. "Will you let me pass?"

"Not until you tell me where you are going and what you mean to do."

"Can't you guess?" I cried. And for many seconds we stood staring in
each other's eyes.

"Have you got the pluck?" said he, breaking the spell in a tone so
cynical that it brought my last drop of blood to the boil.

"You shall see," said I, as I stepped back and whipped the pistol from
my overcoat pocket. "Now, will you let me pass or shall I do it here?"

The barrel touched my temple, and my thumb the trigger. Mad with
excitement as I was, ruined, dishonored, and now finally determined to
make an end of my misspent life, my only surprise to this day is that I
did not do so then and there. The despicable satisfaction of involving
another in one's destruction added its miserable appeal to my baser
egoism; and had fear or horror flown to my companion's face, I shudder
to think I might have died diabolically happy with that look for my
last impious consolation. It was the look that came instead which held
my hand. Neither fear nor horror were in it; only wonder, admiration,
and such a measure of pleased expectancy as caused me after all to
pocket my revolver with an oath.

"You devil!" I said. "I believe you wanted me to do it!"

"Not quite," was the reply, made with a little start, and a change of
color that came too late. "To tell you the truth, though, I half
thought you meant it, and I was never more fascinated in my life. I
never dreamt you had such stuff in you, Bunny! No, I'm hanged if I let
you go now. And you'd better not try that game a