s,
missed it, he didn't use his wife as he ort to. But jest see the
wonderful similarity in these cases. He had two step-children; the wife
of Josiah had two; I am smaller in statute than my wife; so wuz
Napoleon."

"You spoke of your Peaceful Inventions, Josiah," sez I, wantin' to git
his mind off, for truly I begun to fairly feel sick to the stomach to
hear his talk about himself and the Great Conqueror.

"Oh, yes, Samantha, that in itself will be worth double the price of
admission."

"Then you expect to ask pay, Josiah?"

"Certainly, why not? Do they not ask pay at the twin celebration?

"But you spoke of inventions; I shall let the rest of the Allens show
off. Lots of 'em have invented things, but of course my inventions will
rank number one. There is my button on the suller door I cut it out of
an old boot leg. Who ever hearn of a leather button before, and it works
well if you don't want to fasten the door tight. Then there is that self
actin' hen-coop of mine that lets a stick fall down and shuts the door
when the hen walks up the ladder."

"But no hen has ever clim the ladder yet, Josiah."

"No, perhaps they hain't yet, but I'm expectin' to see 'em every day,
'tennyrate paint that coop a bright red and yaller and it will attract a
crowd.

"And then there is that travelin' rat trap of brother Henzy's, you know
his grandmother wuz an Allen, I shall mayhap let him appear. And then
there is all my farmin' implements and the rest of the Allen's I lay out
to be just to all, and let 'em all come and show off in my Agricultural
show.

"But of course there has got to be a head to it; Napoleon wuz the head
of the other Purchase, and I'm the head of this. In short, Samantha, I
am _It_."

Oh, how full of pride and vain glory he wuz, and I knowed such feelin's
would have to be brung down for his spiritual good. I realized it as he
went on,

"I tell you, Napoleon and I would have made a span, Samantha, if he
could been spared till now."

Oh how shamed I wuz to hear such talk, but I sot demute for reasons
named, and he sez agin, "I thought mebby you would want to be one of the
attractions of the Pike, Samantha; I lay out to have livin' statutes
adornin' the side of the lane leadin' up from the beaver medder to the
horse trough."

"Livin' statutes!" sez I, coldly, "I don't know what you mean by them."

[Illustration]

"Why, I thought for a few cents I could git a lot of children and old
folks to be white-