retained her confidence, and
that knowledge painfully distressed the orphan's easily excited
feelings. Another circumstance gave additional pain; her strange and
apparently capricious behaviour had been casually mentioned to Herbert,
and he, aware that his advice was always acceptable to Ellen, ventured
to remonstrate with her, and playfully to reason her out of what he
termed her extraordinary fancy for seclusion. Some indefinable sensation
ever prevented Ellen from speaking or writing to Herbert as she would
have done to any other member of the family, but she answered him,
acknowledging she deserved his hinted reproach, but owning that she
could not change her conduct, even in compliance with his request;
nevertheless, it grieved her much to know that he, whose approbation
she unconsciously but ardently wished to gain, should believe her the
capricious, unaccountable being it was evident he did: still she
persevered. These, and whatever more she might have to endure, were but
petty trials, to which her secretly chastened mind might bend but should
not weakly bow. She knew, if her aunt were conscious of her attention,
much as perhaps she might approve of the motive, she would deem it a
needless sacrifice, and probably prohibit its continuance; or, if she
permitted and encouraged it, the merit of her action would no longer
exist, nor could she indeed, while in the enjoyment of praise, have
finished a task, commenced and carried on purely for the sake of duty,
and as an atonement for the past, by the sacrifice of inclination, make
peace with the gracious God she had offended. Petty trials were welcome
then, for if she met them with a Christian temper, a Christian spirit,
she might hope that, whatever she might endure, she was progressing in
His paths, "whose ways are pleasantness, and whose paths are peace;"
could she but remove the lingering displeasure and distrust of her aunt
and uncle, she would be quite happy.

It so happened that Emmeline's next engagement was to the Opera, which
was always Ellen's greatest conquest of inclination. She had amused
herself by superintending her cousin's dressing, and a sigh so audibly
escaped, that Emmeline instantly exclaimed--

"Ellen, you know you would like to go with us. In the name of all that
is incomprehensible, why do you stay at home?"

"Because, much as I own I should like to go with you, I like better to
stay at home."

"You really are the spirit of contradiction, E