By winning the praises
Of England's great super-war-lord.

* * * * *

"Wanted--a Pair of Lady's Riding Boots, black or brown, size of
foot 4, diam. of calf 14 inches."--_Statesman_ (_Calcutta_).

Great Diana!

* * * * *

"WANTED--Late Model, 5-passenger McLaughlin, Hudson, Paige, or
Cadillac car, in exchange for 5-crypt family de luxe section,
value $1,500, in Forest Lawn, Mausoleum."--_Toronto Daily Star_.

With some difficulty we refrain from reviving the old joke about the
quick and the dead.

* * * * *

THE NEW MRS. MARKHAM.

III.

CONVERSATION ON CHAPTER LXX.

_Mary_. Do tell us something more, Mamma, about the Great Rebellion
and how it began.

_Mrs. M_. Well, my dear, you must know that in the previous reign it
had been the fashion for middle-aged and elderly people to behave
and dress as if they were still juvenile. Mothers neglected their
daughters and went to balls and theatres every night, where they were
conspicuous for their extravagant attire and strange conversation.
They would not allow their daughters to smoke, or, if they did,
provided them with the cheapest cigarettes. Fathers of even advanced
years wore knickerbocker suits on all occasions and spent most of
their time playing a game called golf. This at last provoked a violent
reaction, and the Great Rebellion was the consequence. Although there
was no bloodshed many distressing scenes were enacted and something
like a Reign of Terror prevailed for several years.

_Richard_. Oh, Mamma, please go on!

_Mrs. M_. Parents trembled at the sight of their children, and
fathers, even when they were sixty years old, stood bareheaded before
their sons and did not dare to speak without permission. Mothers never
sat down in the presence of their grown-up daughters, but stood in
respectful silence at the further end of the room, and were only
allowed to smoke in the kitchen.

_George_. That cannot have been very good for the cooking.

_Mrs. M_. The daughters of the family were seldom educated at home,
and when they returned to their father's roof their parents were only
admitted into the presence of their children during short and stated
periods.

_Mary_. And when did the English begin to grow kinder to their
parents?

_Mrs. M_. I really cannot say. Perhaps a climax was reached in the
Baby Suffrage Act; but after that mat