Paris, that drink no more than the little bird called a
spink or chaffinch, and never take in their beakful of liquor till they be
bobbed on the tails after the manner of the sparrows. O companion! if I
could mount up as well as I can get down, I had been long ere this above
the sphere of the moon with Empedocles. But I cannot tell what a devil
this means. This wine is so good and delicious, that the more I drink
thereof the more I am athirst. I believe that the shadow of my master
Pantagruel engendereth the altered and thirsty men, as the moon doth the
catarrhs and defluxions. At which word the company began to laugh, which
Pantagruel perceiving, said, Panurge, what is that which moves you to laugh
so? Sir, said he, I was telling them that these devilish Turks are very
unhappy in that they never drink one drop of wine, and that though there
were no other harm in all Mahomet's Alcoran, yet for this one base point of
abstinence from wine which therein is commanded, I would not submit myself
unto their law. But now tell me, said Pantagruel, how you escaped out of
their hands. By G--, sir, said Panurge, I will not lie to you in one word.

The rascally Turks had broached me upon a spit all larded like a rabbit,
for I was so dry and meagre that otherwise of my flesh they would have made
but very bad meat, and in this manner began to roast me alive. As they
were thus roasting me, I recommended myself unto the divine grace, having
in my mind the good St. Lawrence, and always hoped in God that he would
deliver me out of this torment. Which came to pass, and that very
strangely. For as I did commit myself with all my heart unto God, crying,
Lord God, help me! Lord God, save me! Lord God, take me out of this pain
and hellish torture, wherein these traitorous dogs detain me for my
sincerity in the maintenance of thy law! The roaster or turnspit fell
asleep by the divine will, or else by the virtue of some good Mercury, who
cunningly brought Argus into a sleep for all his hundred eyes. When I saw
that he did no longer turn me in roasting, I looked upon him, and perceived
that he was fast asleep. Then took I up in my teeth a firebrand by the end
where it was not burnt, and cast it into the lap of my roaster, and another
did I throw as well as I could under a field-couch that was placed near to
the chimney, wherein was the straw-bed of my master turnspit. Presently
the fire took hold in the straw, and from the straw to t