r three
at least--had been mentioned in the Divorce Court. She had had a narrow
escape that summer in London. It had given her a lesson; but she still
had much to learn before she could be considered a past mistress in the
school of discretion. Almost ever since she could remember she had
been driven by the reckless spirit within her. But she had been given
a compensation for that in the force of her will. That force had done
wonders for her all through her life. It had even captured and retained
for her many women friends. Driven she had been, and no doubt would
always be, but she believed that she would always skirt the precipices
of life, and would never fall into the abysses.

The timorous and overscrupulous women were the women who missed their
footing, because, when they made a false step, they made it in fear and
trembling, with the shadow of regret always dogging their heels. And
yet, now Jimmy was getting a big boy, even she knew moments of fear.

She moved restlessly. The torch was luring her on, and yet now, for
an instant, she was conscious of holding back. August was not far off;
Jimmy was coming out to her for his holidays. Suppose, after all, she
gave it up? A word from her--or merely a silence--and that man in the
pavilion close by would go away from Buyukderer and would probably never
come back. If, for once in her life, she played for safety?

The sound of the band on the quay--there had been a short interval of
silence--came up to her again. Forty minutes more! She would give that
man in the pavilion and herself forty minutes. She could see the
lights which outlined the kiosk. When they went out she would come to
a decision. Till then, sitting alone, she could indulge in a mental
debate. The mere fact that, at this point, she debated the question
which filled her mind proved Jimmy's power over her. As she thought that
she began to resent her boy's power. And it would grow; inevitably it
would grow. She moved her thin shoulders. Then she sat very still.

If only she didn't love Jimmy so much! Suppose she had lost her case in
the Divorce Case and Jimmy had been taken away from her? Even now she
shuddered when she thought of the risk she had run. She remembered again
the period of waiting when the jury could not come to an agreement. What
torture she had endured, though no one knew it, or, perhaps, ever would
know it! Had not that torture been a tremendous warning to her against
the unwise life? Why g