as despair was about to take possession of him, a man
died in the next parish, literally talked to death, the gossip said, by
his wife. He obtained an introduction, and called upon her the day after
the funeral. She was a cantankerous old woman, and the wooing was a
harassing affair, but his heart was in his work, and before six months
were gone he had won her for his own.

"She proved, however, but a poor substitute. The spirit was willing but
the flesh was weak. She had neither that command of language nor of wind
that had distinguished her rival. From his favourite seat at the bottom
of the garden he could not hear her at all, so he had his chair brought
up into the conservatory. It was all right for him there so long as she
continued to abuse him; but every now and again, just as he was getting
comfortably settled down with his pipe and his newspaper, she would
suddenly stop.

"He would drop his paper and sit listening, with a troubled, anxious
expression.

"'Are you there, dear?' he would call out after a while.

"'Yes, I'm here. Where do you think I am you old fool?' she would gasp
back in an exhausted voice.

"His face would brighten at the sound of her words. 'Go on, dear,' he
would answer. 'I'm listening. I like to hear you talk.'

"But the poor woman was utterly pumped out, and had not so much as a
snort left.

"Then he would shake his head sadly. 'No, she hasn't poor dear Susan's
flow,' he would say. 'Ah! what a woman that was!'

"At night she would do her best, but it was a lame and halting
performance by comparison. After rating him for little over
three-quarters of an hour, she would sink back on the pillow, and want to
go to sleep. But he would shake her gently by the shoulder.

"'Yes, dear,' he would say, 'you were speaking about Jane, and the way I
kept looking at her during lunch.'

"It's extraordinary," concluded my friend, lighting a fresh cigar, "what
creatures of habit we are."

"Very," I replied. "I knew a man who told tall stories till when he told
a true one nobody believed it."

"Ah, that was a very sad case," said my friend.

"Speaking of habit," said the unobtrusive man in the corner, "I can tell
you a true story that I'll bet my bottom dollar you won't believe."

"Haven't got a bottom dollar, but I'll bet you half a sovereign I do,"
replied my friend, who was of a sporting turn. "Who shall be judge?"

"I'll take your word for it," said the unobtrusive man,