ir bedroom door! But
by the time Connie had found it the steam had made the writing too faint
to read; they couldn't even make out to which of them it was addressed.
And he had left next day. And that was all. The rest had been looking
after father, and at the same time keeping out of father's way. But now?
But now? The thieving sun touched Josephine gently. She lifted her face.
She was drawn over to the window by gentle beams...

Until the barrel-organ stopped playing Constantia stayed before the
Buddha, wondering, but not as usual, not vaguely. This time her wonder
was like longing. She remembered the times she had come in here, crept
out of bed in her nightgown when the moon was full, and lain on the
floor with her arms outstretched, as though she was crucified. Why? The
big, pale moon had made her do it. The horrible dancing figures on the
carved screen had leered at her and she hadn't minded. She remembered
too how, whenever they were at the seaside, she had gone off by herself
and got as close to the sea as she could, and sung something, something
she had made up, while she gazed all over that restless water. There had
been this other life, running out, bringing things home in bags, getting
things on approval, discussing them with Jug, and taking them back to
get more things on approval, and arranging father's trays and trying not
to annoy father. But it all seemed to have happened in a kind of tunnel.
It wasn't real. It was only when she came out of the tunnel into the
moonlight or by the sea or into a thunderstorm that she really felt
herself. What did it mean? What was it she was always wanting? What did
it all lead to? Now? Now?

She turned away from the Buddha with one of her vague gestures. She went
over to where Josephine was standing. She wanted to say something to
Josephine, something frightfully important, about--about the future and
what...

"Don't you think perhaps--" she began.

But Josephine interrupted her. "I was wondering if now--" she murmured.
They stopped; they waited for each other.

"Go on, Con," said Josephine.

"No, no, Jug; after you," said Constantia.

"No, say what you were going to say. You began," said Josephine.

"I... I'd rather hear what you were going to say first," said Constantia.

"Don't be absurd, Con."

"Really, Jug."

"Connie!"

"Oh, Jug!"

A pause. Then Constantia said faintly, "I can't say what I was going to
say, Jug, because I've forgotten what it was...