onversation
with the fat lady before the fire, until--having sat himself down in a
corner, and remarked that he would wait until the other customers had
been served--the fat lady resumed the dialogue which his entrance had
interrupted.

'Cook, Tom,' said the fat lady, still airing herself as aforesaid.

'Cook,' said Tom, turning over some leaves of the ledger. 'Well!'

'Read out an easy place or two,' said the fat lady.

'Pick out very light ones, if you please, young man,' interposed a
genteel female, in shepherd's-plaid boots, who appeared to be the
client.

'"Mrs Marker,"' said Tom, reading, '"Russell Place, Russell Square;
offers eighteen guineas; tea and sugar found. Two in family, and see
very little company. Five servants kept. No man. No followers."'

'Oh Lor!' tittered the client. 'THAT won't do. Read another, young man,
will you?'

'"Mrs Wrymug,"' said Tom, '"Pleasant Place, Finsbury. Wages, twelve
guineas. No tea, no sugar. Serious family--"'

'Ah! you needn't mind reading that,' interrupted the client.

'"Three serious footmen,"' said Tom, impressively.

'Three? did you say?' asked the client in an altered tone.

'Three serious footmen,' replied Tom. '"Cook, housemaid, and nursemaid;
each female servant required to join the Little Bethel Congregation
three times every Sunday--with a serious footman. If the cook is more
serious than the footman, she will be expected to improve the footman;
if the footman is more serious than the cook, he will be expected to
improve the cook."'

'I'll take the address of that place,' said the client; 'I don't know
but what it mightn't suit me pretty well.'

'Here's another,' remarked Tom, turning over the leaves. '"Family of Mr
Gallanbile, MP. Fifteen guineas, tea and sugar, and servants allowed
to see male cousins, if godly. Note. Cold dinner in the kitchen on the
Sabbath, Mr Gallanbile being devoted to the Observance question. No
victuals whatever cooked on the Lord's Day, with the exception of dinner
for Mr and Mrs Gallanbile, which, being a work of piety and necessity,
is exempted. Mr Gallanbile dines late on the day of rest, in order to
prevent the sinfulness of the cook's dressing herself."'

'I don't think that'll answer as well as the other,' said the client,
after a little whispering with her friend. 'I'll take the other
direction, if you please, young man. I can but come back again, if it
don't do.'

Tom made out the address, as requested, and the