The
bath-dressing-gown has fallen upon your rounded shoulders. Ill though
it becomes you, I trust that--"

"Enough," said I. "Alone I will select a bath. Doubtless you will all
deplore my choice as bitterly as you will fight with one another for
the privilege of using it. However. When I am dead, you will regret--"

"No, we shan't," said my brother-in-law. "We shall just bury you under
another name and try to keep the obituary notices out of the papers."

I sat back in my chair and frowned. "Be good enough to pass the
rolls," said I.

"You've only had four," said Berry, pushing them across. "Mind you get
a good lunch at Lambeth. I'm told they do you very well at 'The Three
Balls.'

"When I'm choosing a bath," said I, "I always lunch at 'The Rising
Spray.'" And now, here I was, afoot upon Westminster Bridge bound for
the warehouse of the firm we proposed to honour with our patronage.

I passed on into the roar of the crowded streets, and a quarter of an
hour later I reached the place I sought.

Almost immediately the office-boy took me for a commercial traveller
and refused point-blank to announce my arrival. I told him that I had
an appointment.

"Yes," he said pleasantly. "They all 'as."

"Friend," said I, "I see that you are bent on gaining the feathered
fowl. In other words, if I'm kept waiting much longer you'll get the
bird."

"I don't think," he replied somewhat uneasily.

"That," said I, "is what I complain of."

I seated myself on a table and lighted a cigarette. Then:

"I wonder how he'll like his new place," I said, apostrophizing the
skylight.

A pause. Then:

"Of corse, the guv'nor might be in," said the youth. "Yer never knows."

"Speak for yourself," said I. "At the same time, you appear to be
doing what you conceive to be your duty. And for those who do their
duty, there is always a shilling in the left-hand trouser-pocket--"

But the boy was half-way upstairs. I had proved my identity.

Five minutes later one of the partners was conducting me in the
direction of the baths.

Now he had twice begged me to be careful not to hit my head, for he led
me through divers dark, low-pitched corridors. Especially divers. I
remembered his warning about a fifth of a second too late.

When we at length emerged again into the broad light of day, I
contemplated my new bowler in some annoyance. It was bashed in
properly. A large dent--in shape somewhat resembling the Empire