was she going to do?

She looked round the room with terror in her eyes; the silence, the
emptiness now alarmed her. What was she to say when his son came back
from the army? What was she to tell him about his father? Would he
believe her? Wouldn't he point at her with his fingers and say, "She's
done it"? Oh, what was the meaning of this great fear? Where did these
thoughts come from all at once? She had never had them before.

Jumping up from her seat near the window she ran into the kitchen; the
emptiness of the house tortured and tormented her to such a degree that
she could not bear to be any longer in her husband's room. But the
kitchen was also empty, the servant had not yet returned. Mrs. Tiralla
cowered down near the fireplace, shivering with cold. How far could he
be now? Could he be in Gnesen? Oh, no, the horse did not trot so
quickly; still, it might be possible. Hadn't she given it sugar, and
stroked and patted its head? It would be sure to trot well. And if he
had already got to Gnesen, if he had already been to the chemist's, if
he had even got the poison, the poison for the rats! [Pg 32] Ah! She
could not help it, she had to scream aloud with fear. What had she
done?

"Alas, alas!" She buried her head in her hands and moaned. But she had
done nothing so far, not committed any crime. Why was she so terrified?

But she was going to do it!

She rose from her prostrate position, and, with a confident gesture,
stroked back the hair from her forehead. She was going to do it, for
she had prayed for it. There was no going back, the saints had heard
it. Had not the priest always told her in years gone by, when she was
still a child, that what she asked for would be granted? Her prayer was
now before the highest throne. There was nothing to be done, it was to
be. If the saints had not wished it to be so her husband would not have
gone to Gnesen, in spite of all her urging, in spite of all her
caresses.

This assurance calmed her. She began to bustle about in the kitchen and
look into all the corners to see if the maid had not again put
something aside for one of her followers. She was such a flighty
person. Indeed, if she had not looked upon it as the duty of a
Christian not to thrust the girl back into the misery from which Mr.
Tiralla had rescued her, she ought to be turned out of the house--the
sooner the better. She had still not had enough, even with those two
brats. It was really a disgrace to have s