et us, therefore, both follow
the path of rectitude; and of this we may be assured, that if we are not
happy, we shall, at least, deserve to be so. Adieu! I dare not trust
myself longer with you.

[_Exeunt severally._

_End of the Fourth Act._

ACT V.

SCENE I. _DIMPLE'S Lodgings._

JESSAMY [_meeting JONATHAN_].

Well, Mr. Jonathan, what success with the fair?

JONATHAN. Why, such a tarnal cross tike you never saw! You would have
counted she had lived upon crab-apples and vinegar for a fortnight. But
what the rattle makes you look so tarnation glum?

JESSAMY. I was thinking, Mr. Jonathan, what could be the reason of her
carrying herself so coolly to you.

JONATHAN. Coolly, do you call it? Why, I vow, she was fire-hot angry:
may be it was because I buss'd her.

JESSAMY. No, no, Mr. Jonathan; there must be some other cause: I never
yet knew a lady angry at being kissed.

JONATHAN. Well, if it is not the young woman's bashfulness, I vow I
can't conceive why she shou'dn't like me.

JESSAMY. May be it is because you have not the graces, Mr. Jonathan.

JONATHAN. Grace! Why, does the young woman expect I must be converted
before I court her?

JESSAMY. I mean graces of person: for instance, my lord tells us that we
must cut off our nails even at top, in small segments of circles--though
you won't understand that--In the next place, you must regulate your
laugh.

JONATHAN. Maple-log seize it! don't I laugh natural?

JESSAMY. That's the very fault, Mr. Jonathan. Besides, you absolutely
misplace it. I was told by a friend of mine that you laughed outright at
the play the other night, when you ought only to have tittered.

JONATHAN. Gor! I--what does one go to see fun for if they can't laugh?

JESSAMY. You may laugh; but you must laugh by rule.

JONATHAN. Swamp it--laugh by rule! Well, I should like that tarnally.

JESSAMY. Why, you know, Mr. Jonathan, that to dance, a lady to play with
her fan, or a gentleman with his cane, and all other natural motions,
are regulated by art. My master has composed an immensely pretty gamut,
by which any lady or gentleman, with a few years' close application, may
learn to laugh as gracefully as if they were born and bred to it.

JONATHAN. Mercy on my soul! A gamut for laughing--just like fa, la, sol?

JESSAMY. Yes. It comprises every possible display of jocularity, from an
_affettuoso_ smile to a _piano_ titter, o