o cure all diseases, by some of their
new invented chemical machines;--a thing equally as impossible as the
other, and shewed their ignorance of the causes and nature of diseases.
As those who are the most ignorant are generally the greatest boasters,
we find that none of them were more so, than that vain, boasting,
paradoxical enthusiast Paracelsus, who had acquired great riches by
curing a certain disease with a mercurial ointment, the knowledge of
which secret he is said to have stolen from Jacobus Berengarius, of
Caipo, in his travels thither. He was withal so illiterate, that he said
philosophy could be taught in no language but high Dutch; but the true
reason was, that he neither understood philosophy nor any other
language. He also boasted that he was in possession of a nostrum which
would prolong man's life to the age of Methusaleh, though he died
himself at the age of forty-seven. He lived in the fifteenth century.
The cures he wrought were deemed so surprising in that age, that he was
supposed to have recourse to supernatural aid. In a picture of him at
Lumley Castle, he is represented in a close black gown, with both hands
on a great sword, on whose hilt is inscribed the word Azot. This was the
name of his _familiar_ spirit, that he kept imprisoned in the pummel, to
consult on emergent occasions. The circumstance is thus alluded to by
Butler:--

Bombastes kept the Devil's Bird
Shut in the pummel of his sword;
And taught him all the cunning pranks,
Of past and future mountebanks.

Paracelsus was succeeded by his scholar van Helmont, who had much more
learning, but was as great an enthusiast, both in the chemical and
medical arts as his master, and embraced most of his paradoxical
opinions; and, having more technical terms, he frequently used them
rather to dazzle and confound the understandings of his readers, than to
inform their judgments. By thus giving his writings a mystical air of
wisdom, he rendered them obscure, and sometimes unintelligible;
consequently, more easily imposed them upon the public and vulgar, as
sublime and useful truths. He also vainly boasted that he could cure any
fever in four days' time, by sweating the patient with one draught of
his famous nostrum, the _Praecipitatus Diaphoreticus Paracelsi_; and
further adds, "that no man can deserve the name of a physician, who
cannot cure any fever in four days' time." He, however, admits, that he
sometimes added a little theriaca (t