At Smith of Pennsylvania,
With looks so wild about the face;
Monro called in, pronounced the case
Clear antismithymania;

And duly certified that Nick
Should be confined as lunatic,
Fit subject for commission.
But who the deuce would like to be
The devil's person's committee?
So kindred won't petition.

Now, since the wicked fiend's at large,
Skippers, and housekeepers, I charge
You all to heed my warning.
Over your threshold, on your mast,
Be sure the horse-shoe's well nailed fast,
Protecting and adorning.

[Illustration: "O, et praesidium, et dulce decus."--HOR Lib. i. Ode i.]

Here note, if humourists by trade
On waistcoat had the shoe displayed,
Lampoon's sour spirit might be laid,
And cease its spiteful railing.
Whether the humour chanced to be
Joke, pun, quaint ballad, repartee,
Slang, or bad spelling, we should see
Good humour still prevailing.

And oh! if Equity, as well
As Nisi Prius, would not sell
_Reason's perfection_ ever
To wrangling suitors _sans_ horse-shoe,
Lawyers would soon have nought to do,
Their subtle efforts ceasing too,
Reason from right to sever.

While Meux the symbol wears, _tant mieux_,
Repelling sinful aid to brew
His liquid strains XX;
Still, I advise, strong drinks beware,
No horse-shoe thwarts the devil there,
Or demon-mischief checks.

And let me rede you, Mr. Barry,
Not all your arms of John, Dick, Harry,
Plantagenet, or Tudor;
Nor your projections, or your niches,
Affluent of crowns and sculptile riches,
Will scare the foul intruder.

He'll care not for your harp a whistle,
Nor lion, horse, rose, shamrock, thistle,
Horn'd head, or _Honi soit_;
Nor puppy-griffs, though doubtless meant
Young senators to represent,
Like Samson, armed with jaw.

Only consult your sober senses,
And ponder well the consequences,
If in some moment evil,
The old sinner should take Speaker's chair,
Make Black Rod fetch the nobles there,
And with them play the devil!

Then do not fail, great architect,
Assembled wisdom to protect
From Satan's visitation.
With horse-shoe fortify each gate,
Each lion's paw; and then the State
Is safe from ruination.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

POSTSCRIPT.

The courteous reader's indulgence will, it is hoped, extend