_Sir W._ Indeed, is he in this neighbourhood?

_Falkner._ That circumstance of my friend, and a loss in the West
Indies, which shook the fabric of my fortune to its foundation, drove me
from the world--I am now returned to it with better prospects--my
property, which I then thought lost, is doubled--circumstances have
called me hither on an important errand, and before we are four and
twenty hours older, you may see some changes which will make you doubt
your own senses for the remainder of your days--

_Sir W._ You astonish me mightily.

_Falkner._ Yes, you stare as if you were astonished: but why do I stay
chattering here? I must be gone.

_Sir. W._ Nay, pr'ythee now--

_Falkner._ Pshaw! I have paid my first visit to you, because you are the
first in my esteem: don't weaken it by awkward and unseasonable
ceremony--I must now about the business that brings me here: no
interruption, if you wish to see me again let me have my own way, and I
may, perhaps, be back in half an hour.

_Sir W._ But I want to tell you that--

_Falkner._ I know--I know--you want to prove to me that you are the
least talker, and the best husband in the county: but both secrets must
keep till my return, when I shall be happy to congratulate you--and so
farewell-- [_Exit._

_Sir W._ Bless my soul! what can he mean? 'I forbid the banns'--'lost my
wife'--'horrid transaction'--'back again in half an hour'--dear
me--John--Thomas! lady Worret! Helen! [_Exit._

SCENE III.--_A room in_ sir Willoughby's _house_--Helen _and_ Charles
_meeting_--Helen _screams--they run towards each other, as if to
embrace_--Charles _stops suddenly._

_Helen._ Charles! is it _you_, or is it your _spirit_?

_Char._ 'Tis I, madam, and you'll find I have brought my spirit with me.

_Helen._ Hey! why what the deuce ails the man?

_Char._ My presence here, no doubt astonishes you.

_Helen._ Yes, sir, your presence _does_ astonish me, but your manner
still more.

_Char._ I understand you--you would still keep a poor devil in your
toils, though in his absence you have been sporting with _nobler_ game.

_Helen._ My good friend, will you descend from your heroical stilts, and
explain your meaning in plain English?

_Char._ There needs no explanation of my conduct--call it caprice--say,
if you please, that _I_ am _altered_--say _I have changed my mind_, and
love another better--

_Helen._ Indeed! and is it come to this! he shall not see he mortifies
me, howev