d chumps they was a-wastin' their breath in
sighs
An' goin' around with a locoed look a-campin' inside their eyes.
I've read o' the gals that broke 'em up a-sailin' in airy flight
On angel pinions above their beds as they dreampt o' the same at
night,
An' a sort o' disgusted frown'd bunch the wrinkles acrost my brow,
An' I'd call 'em a lot o' sissy boys--but I'm seein' it different now.

I got the jab in my rough ol' heart, an' I got it a-plenty, too,
A center shot from a pair o' eyes of the winninest sort o' blue,
An' I ride the ranges a-sighin' sighs, as cranky as a locoed steer--
A durned heap worse than the novel blokes that the narrative gals'd
queer.
Just hain't no energy left no mo', go 'round like a orphant calf
A-thinkin' about that sagehen's eyes that give me the Cupid gaff,
An' I'm all skeered up when I hit the thought some other rider might
Cut in ahead on a faster hoss an' rope her afore my sight.

There ain't a heifer that ever run in the feminine beauty herd
Could switch a tail on the whole durned range 'long-side o' that
little bird;
A figger plump as a prairy dog's that's feedin' on new spring grass,
An' as purty a face as was ever flashed in front of a lookin' glass.
She's got a smile that 'd raise the steam in the icyist sort o' heart,
A couple o' soul inspirin' eyes, an' the nose that keeps 'em apart
Is the cutest thing in the sassy line that ever occurred to act
As a ornament stuck on a purty face, an' that's a dead open fact.

I'm a-goin' to brace her by an' by to see if there's any hope,
To see if she's liable to shy when I'm ready to pitch the rope;
To see if she's goin' to make a stand, or fly like a skeered up dove
When I make a pass with the brandin' iron that's het in the fire o'
love.
I'll open the little home corral an' give her the level hunch
To make a run fur the open gate when I cut her out o' the bunch,
Fur there ain't no sense in a-jammin' round with a heart that's as
soft as dough
An' a-throwin' the breath o' life away bunched up into sighs.
Heigh-ho!
_James Barton Adams._

THE COWBOY AND THE MAID

FUNNY how it come about!
Me and Texas Tom was out
Takin' of a moonlight walk,
Fillin' in the time with talk.
Every star up in the sky
Seemed to wi