entally exclaimed the first-lieutenant.

"Call him down immediately, Mr W---, if you please--and recollect that
I disapprove of the system."

"Certainly, sir; but really, Captain L---, I don't know what I shall do
if you restrict my power of punishing the young gentlemen; they are so
extremely unruly. There's Mr Malcolm," continued the first-lieutenant,
pointing to a youngster who was walking on the other side of the deck,
with his hands in his pockets, "it was but yesterday that he chopped off
at least four inches from the tail of your dog `Ponto,' at the
beef-block, and pretends it was an accident."

"What! my setter's tail?"

"Yes, sir, he did, I can assure you."

"Mr Malcolm," cried the captain, in great wrath, "how came you to cut
off my dog's tail?"

Before I went to sea I had always considered a London cock-sparrow to be
the truest emblem of consummate impudence; but I have since discovered
that he is quite modest compared to a midshipman.

"Me, sir?" replied the youngster, demurely. "I didn't cut off his tail,
sir; he _cut it off himself_!"

"What, sir!" roared the captain.

"If you please, sir, I was chopping a piece of beef, and the dog, who
was standing by, turned short round, and put his tail under the
chopper."

"Put his tail under the chopper, you little scamp!" replied Captain
L---, in a fury. "Now just put your head above the maintop-gallant
cross-trees, and stay there until you are called down. Mr W---, you'll
keep him up till sunset."

"Ay, ay, sir," replied the first-lieutenant, with a satisfactory smile
at the description of punishment inflicted.

When I was a midshipman, it was extremely difficult to avoid the
mast-head. Out of six years served in that capacity, I once made a
calculation that two of them were passed away perched upon the
cross-trees, looking down, with calm philosophy, upon the microcosm
below. Yet, although I _never_ deserved it, I derived much future
advantage from my repeated punishments. The mast-head, for want of
something _worse_ to do, became my study; and during the time spent
there, I in a manner finished my education. Volumes after volumes were
perused to while away the tedious hours; and I conscientiously believe
it is to this mode of punishment adopted by my rigid superiors that the
world is indebted for all the pretty books which I am writing.

I was generally exalted either for _thinking_ or _not thinking_; and as
I am not aware of any medium b