A peddler's wagon, trotting in;
A haggard man, of sallow hue,
Upon his nose the goggles blue,
And in his cart a model U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.

His seedy garb was sad to view--
Hard seemed the strait he'd gotten in;
He plainly couldn't boast a _sou_,
And meanly fared on water-gru-
el, or had swallowed whole a U-
niversal nigger-cotton gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.

To all he met--Turk, Christian, Jew--
He meekly said, 'I'm not in tin;
In fact I'm in a serious stew,
And therefore offer unto you,
At half its worth, my model U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.

'As sure as four is two and two,
It rules the world we're plotting in;
It made and ruined Yankee Doo-
dle, stuck to him like Cooper's glue,
And so to you would stick this U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'

Now Johnny Bull the peddler knew,
And thus replied with not a grin:
'Hi loves your 'gin' like London brew-
ed ale, but loathes the hinstitu-
tion vitch propels your model U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.

'Hi knows such coves as you a few,
And, zur, just now, hi'm not in tin;
Hi tells you vot, great Yankee Doo-
dle might hincline to put me through
Hif hi should buy your model U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'

Then spake smooth Monsieur _Parlez-vous_,
Whose gilded throne was got in sin,--
(As was he too, if tales are true):
'I does not vant your modal U-'
(He sounds a V for W)
'niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.

A negar in de fence I view--
Your grand machine he's rotting in;
I smells him now, he stinketh! _w-h-e-w_--
_Give me a good tobacco chew_,
And you may keeps your modal U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'

The peddler then sloped quickly to
The land he was begotten in;
With woeful visage, feelings blue,
He sadly questioned what to do,
When none would buy his model U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.

From out his pocket then he drew
A rag that _blood_ was clotting in;
It had a field of heavenly blue,
Was flecked with stars--the very few
That glimmered on his model U-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin-
niversal nigger-cotton-gin.