"The applause
of my own breast is my surest reward: your applause and that of my
country is my next wish in life."[54] He declares in that very letter
that he had not _at any time_ possessed the confidence with them which
they never withheld from the meanest of his predecessors. With wishes so
near his heart perpetually disappointed, and, instead of applauses, (as
he tells us,) receiving nothing but reproaches and disgraceful epithets,
his steady continuance for so many years in their service, in a place
obnoxious in the highest degree to suspicion and censure, is a thing
altogether singular.

It appears very necessary to your Committee to observe upon the great
leading principles which Mr. Hastings assumes, to justify the irregular
taking of these vast sums of money, and all the irregular means he had
employed to cover the greater part of it. These principles are the more
necessary to be inquired into, because, if admitted, they will serve to
justify every species of improper conduct. His words are, "that the
sources from which these reliefs to the public service have come would
never have yielded them to the Company _publicly_; and that the
exigencies of their service (exigencies created by the exposition of
their affairs, and faction in their divided councils) required those
supplies."[55]

As to the first of these extraordinary positions, your Committee cannot
conceive what motive could actuate any native of India dependent on the
Company, in assisting them privately, and in refusing to assist them
publicly. If the transaction was fair and honest, every native must have
been desirous of making merit with the great governing power. If he gave
his money as a free gift, he might value himself upon very honorable and
very acceptable service; if he lent it on the Company's bonds, it would
still have been of service, and he might also receive eight per cent
for his money. No native could, without some interested view, give to
the Governor-General what he would refuse to the Company as a grant, or
even as a loan. It is plain that the powers of government must, in some
way or other, be understood by the natives to be at sale. The
Governor-General says that he took the money with an original
destination to the purposes to which he asserts he has since applied it.
But this original destination was in his own mind only,--not declared,
nor by him pretended to be declared, to the party who gave the presents,
and who could perc