to ask you, sir, and any one of
the gentlemen whom I am addressing, whether you think your own good
and respectable wife herself would recognize the partner of her joys?"
The burst of laughter which this little transformation of the
respectable, stout old Quaker occasioned I was in no way responsible
for; but even Old Parke fell back in his seat, and said,--
"Mr. Hawkins! Mr. Hawkins!"
I knew what that meant, and when the usher, by dint of much clamour,
secured me another hearing, I continued,--
"Nay, sir, and if you looked at yourself in a looking-glass you would
not be able to recognize a single feature you possessed, had you been
battered about the face as the unfortunate man was. Why, the young
policeman says in his evidence his nose was flattened, his, eyes were
swollen black, blue, and red, his cheeks gashed and bloody! But it is
enough: if that is a correct description, although a mild one, of the
man as he appeared after the scene of the conflict, how can you expect
the young constable to recognize such an individual months afterwards,
or any of the witnesses, although to their dying day they would not
forget the terrible disfigurement of the poor fellow whom you are
supposed to be trying?"
All this time there was everywhere painfully suppressed laughter, and
even the jury, all of them Epsom men, and many of whom I knew well
enough, were hardly able to contain themselves.
His lordship, after summing up the case to the jury, looked down
quietly to me, as I was sitting below him, and murmured,--
"Hawkins, you've got all Epsom with you!"
"Yes," I answered, "but you have got the Quaker; he was the only one I
was afraid of."
"You have transformed him," said the Judge.
In a few minutes the verdict showed the accuracy of his lordship's
observation, for the jury returned a verdict of "Not guilty."
I must say, however, that Parke did his utmost to obtain a conviction,
but reason and good sense were too much for him.
CHAPTER XIX.
SAM WARREN, THE AUTHOR OF "TEN THOUSAND A YEAR."
Amongst the illustrious men whom I have met, the name of Sam Warren
deserves remembrance, for he was a genial, good-natured man, full
of humour, and generally entertained a good opinion of everybody,
including himself. He not only achieved distinction in his profession
and became a Queen's Counsel, but wrote a book which attained a
well-deserved popularity, and was entitled "Ten Thousand a Year."
He was a m
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